Becoming a Grandmother

I recently found out that I am going to be a grandmother! It is a wonderful feeling and I can hardly wait for Wednesday, when I find out if the baby will be a boy or girl.

I've been doing some reflecting and I've added more to the document that I began writing originally as a memoir of my own grandparents. Now it has morphed into my life story and is almost fifty pages. I wish I could devote myself full-time to family genealogy. I want to make charts and update information from the family book written by my dad's relatives many years ago. I also want to research my maternal side of the family. Why?

I believe that in life it helps to know to where were you come from in order to arrive at your destination, and your family tree helps in this process. The traits, values, and other characteristics that you have are because you are a unique blend of six people, your parents and your grandparents. Yes, there are other things that factor in the process besides mere biology, but the older I get the more I realize how much I am like different parts of these six people.

As Martha Stewart would say, "It's a good thing."

Long Time, No Type

Wow! It's been a long time since I wrote anything on here. I let it slide after I started teaching online classes at night. I like writing on this blog, but I have to admit I am a nerd. I don't have much interesting to say.

I have gotten interested in geneaology and I have started a Word document in which I write about my life when I was a young girl. There are so many little things I would like to know about my own family. So maybe one day my grandchild(ren) will want to know these things about me.

I still can't help wanting to write about my grandmother. The other day I thought about what all she could do at my age. She knew how to wring a chicken's neck, pluck it, cut it up, and fry it. She raised hogs and had her own garden. She knew a lot about canning. She had a sewing machine so I assume she could sew, although I never remember her making a dress or anything.

I suppose I expected that when I was her age, I'd know how to do more things. Sure, I can make a web page from my iPhone, but that is not a survival skill.

Now I think I'll work on my family heritage digital scrapbook. It's a skill she didn't have but I have feeling she'd like to see it. Then she'd make me some chicken and dumplings from scratch.

This and That

Another Monday is here. I don't know why but this month has passed by quickly. Didn't I just turn in the July monthly report?

I noticed that some of my posts on here, besides being few and far between, are about getting older. So I should probably just get over it and change the subject. It's hard to do this when your friends parents are dying all around you. I just heard of another classmate whose mother died this past weekend. I post these things on our class web site and it seems nearly everything on the news board is bad news. Well, maybe not. There's been a few grandchildren born lately and we have some classmates who continue to be outstanding in their respective fields.

Speaking of grandchildren, can I talk about them? This may be considered a "getting older" topic but I don't have any yet. I wasn't ready in my forties when my other classmates began to have theirs, but I'm ready now. I even look the part. I quit dying my hair when I moved from Baton Rouge. The college coed routine is hard to pull off now. Besides, why pay someone to color your hair when God frosted it for free? (Do they still say "frosted" when talking about dying hair, or does this date me, too?) I've also been pondering names to be called by my future grandchild.

Next month we will have Grandparents Day. In honor grandmothers everywhere, here is a poem I read one time about grandmothers.

In the dim and distant past
When life's tempo wasn't fast
Grandma used to rock and knit
Crochet, tat, and babysit
When the kids were in a jam
They could always count on Gram
In the age of gracious living
Grandma was the gal for giving
Grandma now is in the gym
Exercising to keep slim
She's out touring with the bunch
Taking clients out to lunch
Driving north to ski or curl
All her days are in a whirl
Nothing seems to stop or block her
Now that Grandma's off her rocker.

My Mother

Mother has been sick the past few weeks. Yes, she's been ill in the past, but this time was different. Why? It's difficult to explain. She has fought cancer not once but TWICE and has beaten it both times. She nursed my daddy when he was dying of lung cancer. So yes, we've been down some rocky roads before, but one night in ICU changed our thinking. Reality came knocking on our door even louder.

We sat there with our eyes glued to the monitor. Every time the blood pressure cuff activated, we held our breath. Her blood pressure little by little keep inching lower. The nurse called us aside and said she needed to ask us some questions. There were papers to be signed. When a patient's blood pressure gets below a certain point, they need to have answers. To questions you don't want to answer, but you must. Life support--yes or no? Then there were three letters you don't want to see: DNR. Do Not Resusitate. It was standard procedure. No, it wasn't. Not for us. Not for my mother. We signed the papers.

At that moment I had to start thinking differently. It was a turning point in my life. What if she didn't come back home? How would all our lives change? But I wanted to be like Scarlet O'Hara and think about that tomorrow. I didn't want to face it but the thought keep staring at me and I couldn't avoid it. I had to get back to her ICU room.

The nurses and doctors worked to bring the pressure back up and she survived the crisis but not without a lot of tense moments. We held our breath again each time the monitor refreshed. At one point her blood pressure was 50/17.

Somebody prayed us through it. She made it. Thank you, Jesus. He helped her but He also reminded me one day I will have to be ready to give her back to Him.

I realized that there is no one on this earth who remembers my grandfather like she does. If she were gone, I wouldn't have anyone to reminisce with about the good times. My brothers were little when he died and they don't have the memories that I have. They both bear his name, but they didn't know him like I did, even though I was only eight years old at the time. Now I can't even remember what his voice was like.

When she's gone, I'll go to the head of the family line. I will no longer be in the autumn of my years. The season will change, as it should.

I Have Become My Grandmother

I was hoping it wouldn't happen, but it has. It didn't take place overnight, but gradually I have become my grandmother. First, I stopped dyeing my hair and let it be naturally gray. Then I had to have my gall bladder removed.

It was a surprise to me when I actually started enjoying trips to the Dollar Store, just like my grandmother. I actually think they have some cute things there, don't you?

Next, I realized that I always have to watch the news in the evening. However, I knew there was no going back when I started talking about the newscasters like they are my friends.

Now it's my turn to annoy my son. I can have my own idiosyncracies. Instead of telling him how to get somewhere, I can give him the entire history of wh0-lived-in-what-house by where you turn, and it will be overlooked because I am officially old.

This past weekend one of my classmates died and someone at the funeral home asked me where my son lives now. It was such a pleasure to describe the location to someone who speaks my language! [You remember across the street from you where the Wallers lived? His house is in their backyard. Do you remember where Carol Beth White used to live? It's directly across the street.] She knew exactly where it was because of my points of reference!

What else am I leaving out? Oh, yeah. My memory is not what it used to be. I know God must be pleased that I don't hold many grudges anymore, but I have to admit mostly it's because I don't remember either what happened or who is supposed to be the target of my anger!

Now, if I only had some grandchildren, then there would be no doubt!

Mr. Haney

When did he start selling things again? Do you remember when Mr. Douglas bought a truck from him on Green Acres? He got it for a very good price. The catch was it didn't come with a steering wheel--that was extra.

I got a new phone and believe it or not, it was FREE! However, the car charger did not come with it. It only cost $29.95 + tax. This is something you really need to be able to use your phone, because the battery can need recharging a lot of the time when you're in the car.

I didn't even ask how much it would cost to have a bluetooth headset. I don't want to know.

The Last Lecture

If you want to see Randy Pausch's last lecture or read the transcript of it, you can find it here: http://download.srv.cs.cmu.edu/~pausch/

Here are some quotes that I like from it:
"We can't change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand."

"The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something."

"Remember brick walls let us show our dedication. They are there to separate us from the people who don’t really want to achieve their childhood dreams. Don’t bail."

"When you're screwing up and nobody's saying anything to you anymore, that means they gave up."

"Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."

"The best way to teach somebody something is to have them think they’re learning something else." (Indirect learning-he calls this a head fake.)

"Never lose the childlike wonder. It’s just too important. It’s what drives us."

"When it comes to men that are romantically interested in you, it’s really simple. Just ignore everything they say and only pay attention to what they do. It’s that simple. It’s that easy."

Here are some of his main points:
1. Loyalty is a two-way street.
2. Never give up.
3. You get people to help you by telling the truth. Being earnest. I'll take an earnest person over a hip person every day, because hip is short term. Earnest is long term.
4. Apologize when you screw up and focus on other people, not on yourself.
5. Get a feedback loop and listen to it. ... Anybody can get chewed out. It's the rare person who says, oh my god, you were right. When people give you feedback, cherish it and use it.
6. Show gratitude.
7. Don't complain. Just work harder.
8. Be good at something, it makes you valuable.
9. Work hard.
10. Find the best in everybody. No one is all evil. Everybody has a good side; just keep waiting, it will come out.
11. Wait long enough and people will surprise and impress you.
12. And be prepared. Luck is truly where preparation meets opportunity